No I Don’t Feel Totally Different Now

Eva (00:06):
You are listening to. Less of You. I'm Eva.

Kami (00:09):
My name is Kami.

Eva (00:10):
Come with us as we confront our reasons for being obese while losing weight on semaglutide and roasting our past selves. Where have you been?

Kami (00:21):
Oh my hell. I'd like to know that too. We have not recorded in two months.

Eva (00:27):
Our last episode went out on March 14th. So we'll start by apologizing for being a dumpster fire.

Kami (00:33):
Oh yeah. Well, I went and got myself one of those job things.

Eva (00:40):
Oh yeah, you did that.

Kami (00:41):
Yeah. So I am working as an office manager operations kind of thing for my real estate firm. So that's been going great. I love it. Absolutely love it. It's just really, really busy. Very time consuming and mentally draining because they're trying to scale up the business and it's like they've got a lot of really big ideas, which are amazing. And the owner, Tony, is great at making good decisions and pulling the trigger and stuff, but the execution is what they have a hard time with, and that's what I do. So anyways, that's what I've been up to.

Eva (01:21):
Is it nice when you're at work that you don't have to think about eating?

Kami (01:26):
Well, you know what though? They did just, okay, so our office is in this gigantic, gigantic building in, I dunno if anybody's knows Indianapolis area, but it's in Fishers. I mean, this building can probably accommodate like 4,000 employees. It's absolutely enormous. I think if you walked around the building two times, it's a mile.

Eva (01:46):
What?

Kami (01:48):
Or maybe it's three times. It's a mile and it's four stories.

Eva (01:52):
It's like the Mall of America.

Kami (01:53):
It's just huge. They have a cafe in there now. It's super easy for me to get food. So they have this really yummy, it's, they called a applewood salad, which it should not even be called a salad. It should be called a cheese toss because there's so much feta and blue cheese in it. It's got to be a thousand calories, this little tiny thing. But it's so good. But I did do the Caesar today, but I did do the peanut butter cookie, fresh baked, which had no regrets at all there.

Eva (02:26):
Could you eat the whole cookie? I mean, I usually get sick halfway through.

Kami (02:30):
No, no. So that's what I've been up to. What have you been doing? I know you were traveling and all over the place, right?

Eva (02:37):
Yeah, I had three trips back to back, three weekends in a row with one in a hole in the middle or whatever. So I'm done. Mentally, I've had not a good week and I can't think anymore if that makes sense. I just have to stop for a little while and do the best I can. And it's happened before, when you work in creative, I remember when all I did was write, if I wrote a whole bunch of stuff one day, the next day I couldn't write anything. It's kind of like that.

Kami (03:11):
Well, you drain your creative juices. You have to let them

Eva (03:15):
Recharge.

Kami (03:16):
Build back up. Yeah.

Eva (03:18):
I have a little list of funny things that have happened though, because I didn't want to forget to tell you some of these. One was, okay, so there's this big conference here in Austin, and I was standing in the aisle on the exhibit hall floor and a doctor that I've known at least 10 years, walked up to my coworker, Krystal. He's having this reunion with Krystal. It's so good to see you. How are you doing? And they talk for a while. And at some point he realizes I'm standing there being creepy. I could see his body language, who is that? And he glances at me and then he goes back to Krystal and then he glances at me again. And then Krystal's like, you remember Eva? And he flipped. He was like, oh my God. Oh my God. And so he just kept going and then he embarrassed himself by being embarrassed and it just completely cratered in on itself. It was very cute and it was very sweet. That was a real highlight was just, he was one of the very first people I ever did a podcast with in 2016 maybe.

Kami (04:35):
Really?

Eva (04:36):
No, it was after that, but it was five or six years ago. So he knew me before. It was really hard for him to make the connection.

Kami (04:47):
Oh, that's so funny.

Eva (04:47):
So that was really fun. And then the other weird one was I was interviewing a dentist on Meet the Dentist the most, I'm not going to call it boring, but you know, they're dentists. He was really interesting dentist though.

Kami (05:04):
Really?

Eva (05:04):
And he was calling himself not a functional dentist, like a biological dentist. So they don't use any materials that could be toxic to your body. So they don't use any metals and they don't use resin in your teeth. They only use porcelain. It's California, so he was maybe like we could call him a crunchy dentist. Well, he started explaining to me what happens when your body can't process heavy metals? Everyone can process a certain amount, but when you have too many or exposed to too much heavy metal, then weird things start happening. And he makes this connection that if you have mercury fillings, before I even say this out loud, I'm going to say I have no idea if this is true, but what he was saying to me was, if you have mercury fillings, they release a certain amount of mercury nonstop from the time you get them until if they're ever removed, that mercury is absorbed by your body and at some point your body can't take anymore and it starts to store it where it should not store it, and that it is possible, what he was saying was it is possible that maybe there's a connection between being able to not lose weight and having heavy metal toxicity. I have never heard that before. And so of course I wrote it down on a list of things that I need to go down the rabbit hole and have not done that yet. I don't have time and I'm not going to get my mercury fillings taken out anytime soon. I mean, they call 'em amalgam so that you don't know their mercury. But I have mercury in my mouth and most people my age still do, like my husband does. And you talk to anyone around 50 and they had mercury fillings as a kid. It was what they did back then. So yeah, that was wild.

Kami (06:55):
That's crazy. I've certainly never heard of that. Hang on. Sorry folks. My umbrella. It's a little windy. My umbrella just went opened.

Eva (07:03):
Extra authentic. We're being extra authentic today.

Kami (07:07):
Oh God.

Eva (07:07):
I see.

(07:08):
Hey, what's your weight?

Kami (07:11):
Oh, I don't know.

Eva (07:12):
Oh, you haven't been on the scale.

Kami (07:14):
I know, I have not. Everything still fits, so I'm not gaining. I don't think I'm really losing though. So last I weighed myself, I was 198 and I'm probably still right around there. Part of the reason I feel like I've stalled out is because I broke my foot. I slammed it on the corner of my bed. The leg of the bed. Yeah. Oh my God. And heard the crunch the whole thing and dropped to the floor cursing up a storm. Oh my God. And then my daughter starts freaking out and she's like crying. She sees that I'm in so much pain. She's like, mommy, I don't want to lose you. Whaaaa. I was like, I stubbed my toe. I'm not dying. Although it was incredible pain.

Eva (08:00):
You stubbed your toe but broke your foot?

Kami (08:02):
Well, okay, so imagine that this is the top of your foot and this is your toe. So these are the phalanges, and then the long bones are the metatarsals. So the phalanges that connects to here has a fracture in that little right there.

Eva (08:19):
Good job. Wow. You must have really hit it.

Kami (08:21):
Oh yeah. Oh, it was impressive. So my stupid ass powered through that shit because it was like eight o'clock at night. Kids still got to get in bed, she's got to still get up in the morning. She got to get on the bus. I got to go to work, all the things. I walk around on it for a month.

Eva (08:37):
A month?

Kami (08:38):
Before I was like, this is not feel right. So I go and get an x-ray. I go to the walk-in clinic and she's like, yeah, it's broken. I'm like, oh God damnit. That was a couple weeks. And then I went to a podiatrist who looked like a 12-year-old with a beard. This guy was so cute. I mean, just adorable kid. I have a boot that I had gotten from when I sprained my ankle, and so I've been wearing that and he's like, we're just going to check it in another couple weeks.

(09:12):
He's like, usually bones take six to eight weeks to heal, and we're right at the six week mark, so we probably should just be getting better from now. I'm like, okay, but it's not hurting all the time. But when I move it a certain way, it hurts. Or if I do a lot of walking, it hurts. I'm not going with Justin and Kordelia to Costco and walking around a lot. So that's kind of sold me out because now I'm like, I just haven't been able to do much, and this is the time of year that I want to get out on my bike and ride around and anyways, so woe is me. It should get better soon.

Eva (09:48):
I'm sorry.

Kami (09:49):
And I've been just going, going crazy, and I think I texted you, but I had gone through fast food drive-through twice in one day. I thought I was going to die. I had McDonald's for breakfast and then ran through the Taco Bell in the middle of afternoon and an hour later I was like, fucking, why did I do this to myself? Oh my God. I just felt gross. So gross.

Eva (10:21):
You know the dark chocolate Cadbury mini eggs with the little crunchy shell.

Kami (10:27):
Ooh yeah.

Eva (10:28):
Okay. Well, they used to only have dark chocolate every other year, but now they have it every year.

Kami (10:34):
I love that you know that it was every other year. I love that.

Eva (10:37):
Well, in my old life, all I thought about was food. So Easter meant mini eggs.

Kami (10:42):
Oh Yeah, cadbury creme eggs. Yeah. Oh my God, so good. Yep.

Eva (10:45):
Okay, so I have a bag here and I put them in a bowl and every day after lunch I think, Ooh, I can have some mini eggs. So I go to the bowl and I get four and I eat them, and then immediately I get sick. And then I do it again the next day and the next day. They're almost gone, I'm going to finish.

Kami (11:08):
Yeah.

Eva (11:09):
It's so different though, because I could have ate the whole bag. Two years ago, I would've ate eaten three years ago, the whole bag, and then I would've gone back to Target and got more, and I was at Target last night. They run out of dark chocolate first. Everybody likes it the best. And I looked at them and I was like, eh, I don't need anymore. I'm good.

Kami (11:30):
Yeah, I think we went to Dollar Tree, I think, and they have those real big Bunny Reese's Pieces, the cups, but they're the huge bunnies, and I cracked open one of those. Normally I would've been able to eat the whole thing. Fucking no problem. I ate two bites of it and I was like, ugh.

Eva (11:48):
No refined sugar. There's just no way.

Kami (11:51):
No way. So it took me, I dunno, like a week to eat one. I had a couple of bites here and there or whatever. It wasn't even, and then there's still the second one that was for my daughter, and she hasn't touched it. And I'm look at it and I'm like, no, I'm good.

Eva (12:06):
I got the Easter baskets all ready to go, and all I wanted to buy them was non non-candy stuff for the Easter baskets. So I mean, there's a little bit in there, but it's mostly not candy instead of mostly candy. Which again, in the old days, I would've bought mostly candy and then I would've eaten most of their candy myself.

Kami (12:28):
Oh yeah, totally. I would've been bought this huge bag justifying that it's for Halloween or Easter or whatever, given her four pieces. And then I keep the rest for myself.

Eva (12:38):
I know. I still have people asking me two times in the last week. Do you feel totally different? Nope, I don't.

Kami (12:51):
Yeah, I feel less self-conscious about my clothing.

Eva (12:54):
Definitely.

Kami (12:56):
But I don't feel like a different person. I'm still, you know?

Eva (13:00):
It's not some kind of temporary high and then you just, I don't know. I don't understand the question. I'm not understanding it. Oh, I know what it was. Okay, so I was in Las Vegas last weekend and I went with two of my friends to see Michael Jackson One again, which I love, and I love all things Michael Jackson, mostly because my four year old's obsessed with Michael Jackson and she wants to listen to him all the time. So he's like our number one in our house right now. So we go to the show and the two of them, they're both very, very heavy. One of them asked me while we were driving back in the lyft, do you just feel totally different? And I was like, no, not even a little. And I don't know, maybe I'm not being honest with myself. How do I feel different? We're going to have to explore that.

Kami (13:49):
Well, you're who you're on the inside, and if you are come to terms with yourself and who you are and your values and the things that you believe in and adhere to and all that stuff, that doesn't change. Now, if you're a slutty piece of trash and you're all skinny and you're trying to take on other people's husbands or whatever, that's a different story. But I don't really see that for you.

Eva (14:11):
Nope. Nope. Not seeing that one. I think

Kami (14:14):
It's like if you're a good person, you're still the same person.

Eva (14:18):
I think what it is is I'm still completely disconnected from my body. I was disconnected from my body when it was bigger, and I have not become reconnected with my body. I disassociated with it in order to survive at that size, and I haven't re-associated myself with it. It's sort of creeping on me. I know I need to do something about that. Go back to a regular exercise routine? Anyway, maybe that's why it bugs me is that that's the question they're asking. And that's what I think it means is that I just am not, I'm like a brain floating in the universe.

Kami (14:58):
Yeah.

Eva (14:58):
I am down to 184, so, and all the shortages and all the weirdness with the medication right now, I'm sort of trying to figure out what's my exit strategy.

Kami (15:10):
Yeah.

Eva (15:11):
I have no idea what that looks like yet, but I have three months worth in the fridge right now.

Kami (15:16):
Yeah. I think I got two vials last time I ordered, and each of them will last me. It's like six months I have right now.

Eva (15:23):
That's good.

Kami (15:25):
But I ordered and they didn't seem to think there was going to be an issue. I'm like, okay,

Eva (15:29):
What are you going to do for Easter?

Kami (15:31):
I dunno. I haven't even thought that far ahead, and I know it's like in four days. I dunno. I have an Easter basket for her. So my neighbor made a bunch of Easter baskets and I bought one from her, and I was like, okay, great. Yeah, off the list, done. Whether we're going to do the Easter Bunny thing or not, she's seven and a half now. I'm like, okay, is it time to have a conversation with her about the Easter Bunny and the leprechaun and Santa and all that stuff? Because my thought is, if I'm going to tell her Santa's not real, I don't want to do it right before Christmas. You know what I mean? I don't want to be like, oh, hey, we're super excited for Christmas, by the way, Santa's not real. I'm not going to do that. It's going to be several months.

Eva (16:18):
You can let her figure it out on her own. She's smart enough.

Kami (16:21):
She's pretty much figured it out. I mean, she's hasn't said, but she said, are you sure it's not just you doing the presents, mom?

Eva (16:28):
Yeah, my 7-year-old is also doing that. But the problem is she's telling the 4-year-old. I don't really care that Kari is over it and has figured out that it's mom and dad, but don't ruin it for your sister Little Turkey.

Kami (16:44):
She's not really questioning things right now. So.

Eva (16:47):
Yeah.

Kami (16:47):
We'll see. But I really don't have anything planned for Easter other than she'll have an Easter basket. I'm debating on if I'm going to do an egg hunt or if I'm going to go to one. I'm just so exhausted.

Eva (16:59):
I know, me too.

Kami (17:00):
I'm so tired. Well, and I think I've talked about this before, but I have sleep apnea and so I need to go get another sleep study done. I need a C-Pap machine. This is the kind of study where you go to the facility and you sleep, which I've never done before. The only other kind I had was they strap a device to your forehead and then it measures your oxygen levels and how many times you stop breathing in an hour. Right?

Eva (17:23):
Oh yeah.

Kami (17:24):
So this is the one where you go and you basically, it's almost like staying in a hotel room. It's got a shower and everything. I'd imagine there's cameras, they can watch you. So somebody it's going to watch me sleep, which is so weird. And then they kept making sure that I knew that at 6:00 AM the test is over, get your sleepy ass up and get the fuck out because.

Eva (17:51):
Yeah, shift's over. We got to go home too.

Kami (17:54):
Right? So I'm like, okay. So I took the day off after that, and so I won't do that for another three weeks. And then I think once I get a new machine that I won't be so tired all the time.

Eva (18:05):
Last night I went to a mom's night and I came home about 10 o'clock and my husband and both kids were in my bed and the kids were in my spot, both of them. So I watched a show and then I was like, well, what am I going to do now? I can't pick 'em up. They're too heavy to carry sleeping, to carry, sleeping all the way across the house. So I went to bed in my daughter's room and I slept there all night.

Kami (18:35):
We do that regularly. And that's one of the reasons I bought a full-size bed for her. Because I just knew that she doesn't stay in her bed. She still doesn't, seven and a half years old, still doesn't sleep through the night. And the other night she got up twice. She got up and she came in with us. I snuggled her for a little bit, picked her up, put her back in her bed, and then came back. And then at some point, what other point in the night, she came in and got back in bed with me. I don't understand it. I just am like, is she, I've talked to her about it and I've talked to her about it. She just is like, I miss you. I just want to be with you. And I'm like, okay.

Eva (19:10):
She won't do it forever is what I tell myself all the time. Someday I'll wish that she would come in and sleep with me.

Kami (19:17):
Right. I was like, am I going to have this conversation when she's like off to college? Be like, well, now Kordelia, I know that you're 18 years old, but you got to sleep by yourself. Okay, Lord. So it's just frustrating because it's adding to my sleep deprivation and my husband's, and it's just a, ugh.

Eva (19:34):
I know it's always something. I got to go interview somebody.

Kami (19:40):
Oh do you do? Okay.

Eva (19:41):
Yeah. Yeah, we started kind of late.

Kami (19:44):
You do that thing. I love you the most and let's not skip so many sessions.

Eva (19:49):
No, I don't have any more travel. I'm back to normal. Everything's fine. I've got some good stuff planned for the next few and maybe some guests that I've been promising for a while. So yeah, we'll get on it.

Kami (20:02):
Let's do it.

Eva (20:03):
Okay. Happy Easter. Follow us on Instagram @LessofYoupodcast. Are you confronting the same challenges and have a story to tell? I'd love to hear your story on our Skinny Shot Stories podcast. Contact me for more details at skinnyshotstories.com. If you're a doctor and would like to learn more about sponsoring this or any of our cosmetic surgery and weight loss podcasts, go to lessofyou.com. Less of You is a production of The Axis, theaxis.io.