You are listening to Less of You. I'm Eva.

My name is Kami.

Come with us as we confront our reasons for being obese while losing weight on semaglutide and roasting our past selves.

What does the fox say? Ber du Ber du Ber du.

It's actually ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, da, ding.

Oh, whatever the hell it is. The worst song ever it gets in your head and then you're done. This is how I want to live life. That is, I'm done.

I'm speechless.

So what are you dressed as a middle aged, exhausted mom?

Well, no, I got a Barbie shirt.

Barbie. Oh, there you go.

So I could argue that I'm a Barbie, but Ellie had a trunk or treat and I just, I will show you a picture.

Sorry. Sorry, I got to pull my tail out of my ass. It's fine.

Since this is a video podcast, now I can show you a picture. No better segue to an announcement that we're a video podcast now than to say, look at this picture. But it's kind of a big deal because what I realized after quite a few episodes was it's kind of cool to see how much smaller we are, when you go back.

Do our voices sound skinnier? That's what I'd like to know.

I don't know about that.

Is that a thing? I don't know if that's a thing. Do people sound different when they lose weight? I don't know.

I think so.

Speaking of sound, I just want to let you know I got a new microphone stand that you sent me, so thank you. Have I put it together? Taken out of the box? Absolutely not, but it's here. It literally came right after you said that to me.

Oh my God.

This is my Barbie dreamhouse trunk. And so the girls helped me make spooky Barbies and you can't really see them. There's one down here in the kitchen.

Oh yeah. You can kind of see her.

There's one in the pool.

I don't think she has any pants on.

Then Maleficent is sitting in the swing.

Well, that's where she belongs. That is amazing.

So we had a good time.

Oh, fun.

And then Ellie was Bridget from Descendants four.

Nice. So cute.

Yes. And they all came out to trunk or treat. So there's the whole crew.

Oh, look at 'em all.

Yeah. And the teachers were all M and M's, so we had good times today.

Cute.

So I've just landed. I've just back. I brought her home. I didn't really want to drive there and back three times today. So she's here. So she'll probably make an appearance.

Yay. I love to see her. Gosh, that's cute.

I said, I have to record my show. And she said, what's a show? I said, you know what, Megyn Kelly? I'm like, Megyn Kelly.

Well, do you know the sad thing is I don't really know who that is.

Oh, she used to be on TV. She was a reporter on TV. Now she's one of,

I want to say, I was like, is she a CNN?

She's one of the biggest podcasts in the world now.

Oh.

You want to put that mic on something so the editors don't get really pissed off at me.

I know. I'm so sorry editors, they're like

Apologizing does actually help, they do.

Does it? Oh, okay. I'll have to make sure I do it every time then because

Oh yeah. I was feeling fat for the last couple of weeks.

Yeah. Why?

Who knows. Why do we feel fat? Why does the size of our body become a feeling?

And you're not? And that's the thing is, so you're having some body dysmorphia is what you're,

Yeah. So you know what I decided to do about it?

Oh, please tell me.

My husband cleaned out the garage and found three more bags of jeans, and that was the original first bag of clothes that I pulled out. The first round of things to get rid of. Right?

Okay.

And my favorite jeans were in there, the ones that were the biggest size that I've ever bought. And so I put them on and I'm wearing them right now. You want to see?

Yes. Oh my goodness. Look at you, girl. That's impressive. Very good.

They're still really comfy.

Hey, you know what? Baggy jeans are all are back in. So you just put a belt on. It's fine.

I don't feel so bad now.

Okay, good. I ran around in a pair of jeans a couple days ago and when I came home I had to take 'em off and put in on other pants because they would not stay up.

(04:42)
Would not. So where did I leave off? On my,

The fire?

Yes. Oh, damn it, okay. I'm just going to apologize to everybody. I've been meaning to do the oat-zempic recipe and I was going to do it today. I got derailed because I had to have a conversation with an attorney. So sorry. So there's that. Let's God, yeah, it's not funny. It's not funny when I say it's been a shit show. Not an understatement in any way. Okay. The daughter, mom, neighbor story from last week, they're all kind of squared away at this point. So she got herself a vehicle. So I met with her yesterday, the next steps for them to find a place, and that's that. So there's pretty much nothing else we can do until the fire investigator makes the determination as to what caused the fire. And at that point then he will then release the scene to me, and then I will have the lucky privileged job of managing to build two more houses on top of the four that I'm already working on. Kill me now.

How much are you being paid for this job?

Well, I will tell you. So we're a self-managed HOA, and as the property manager, I get a thousand bucks a month. But here's the deal, if we hadn't had to deal with either one of these fires, it would be like a 10 hour a week job.

A week? Without the fires.

Without the fires. Yeah. Because you're dealing with 59 homeowners. You have a clubhouse and a pool to maintain. You've got grounds to maintain. People are constantly like, oh, my roof's leaking, and you got to do repairs and you got to do maintenance and you have to manage all the contractors because God knows they can't fucking manage themselves. I'm not trying to shit on anybody. And some of 'em are better than others. So it's kind of a scale. I've got one guy whose his prices are excellent, but that comes with, he doesn't always finish his jobs on time, so that's difficult.

(07:06)
But I've got some really good guys that are going to be doing the rebuild, so am excited about that. They already know everything we've already been through with this one over here. Yeah. But it's stressful and it's hard and people are cranky. I had to send out an email to all the homeowners because I had some people being shitty with first responders and me, so I'm like, we're not going to be disrespectful to police officers and firefighters. That's not going to fucking fly here. Sorry. So anyways, so I nipped that right in the bud and everyone's like, thank you so much for sending that. We didn't know that there was issues. I'm like, yeah, I did. I knew. So whatever, besides that, I'm just feeling really shitty, tired. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'm hoping I can get on some, I'm going to get her to give me the injectable B so that I can not worry about doing the sublingual thing.

Well, I had a follow up on Thursday or Wednesday of last week right after I talked to you and I was able to buy three months supply. So they loaded me up with 12 pre-filled syringes.

Oh, okay. Nice.

And they come out with the pack like they usually do. And I look at it and it's completely different needle than I'm used to, and it looks bigger.

Oh no.

The needle itself, the actual syringe looks bigger. And I go, oh my gosh, is this bigger? And they're like, no, no, no. It's exactly the same size needle. Which was technically true. The thickness, like the gauge, which is how.

Which is what it, yeah. So was it longer?

It was longer.

But the gauge was the same.

The gauge was the same, but it's longer. And the first one I did on Sunday, I was wrestling with the plunger to get this shot in something is not right. And now I have 12 of them. I have $1,500 worth of these things.

Jesus. Do you think it was just the one?

I don't know. So I'm going to do another one on Sunday.

Sunday, okay.

Then I will know if it's just that one. If I did something weird or if it's all going to be like that, it was pretty unpleasant. So here's me, I'm a pro, I got this, whatever, I can do this. And now I have all this anxiety again about it.

Oh my gosh, it's going to be fine. I mean, if it's not really working, you just take 'em back and be like, look, yo, there's something going on here. And just give me different ones. I don't know.

Show me how to do this. I feel like we're friendly. I wouldn't say to my friends, we don't hang out, but I don't want to be difficult. So yeah, I'd call over there and say, can

Hmm, be difficult. It's okay.

Can I talk to Ashley about these needles. Ashley, I need to talk to you.

Oh my God, Ashley, where are you?

If I'm having that experience, everybody is, I am not the only one.

No, for sure.

There's 2000 patients.

Well, and they want to know if you're having a problem because if there's something wrong with it and it's like a manufacture defect or something, you have to tell them. So don't worry about being difficult. That's stupid. Stop it. Yeah. Well, I just can't get over how cute I am in this freaking

You are. I wish I had put on, well, we were just at Party City and I put on a Barbie, a pink cowboy hat, and it was pretty cute, but I was like, I don't feel like spending $15.

Yeah.

But now I wish I had because I could have made it an expense of the show.

Nice. Yeah, I wish I could do that. I just had to get out of the house today and I was like, let me go to the most dangerous store that I could find, and I'm just going to gamble with my financial future. So I went to Costco.

Oh, the a hundred dollars store.

The hundred dollars store. So I just needed to just veg out. So I put on, had my headphones, I put on the Dave Matthews station on Pandora, and I walked up and down every single aisle. The whole

You did inventory. I love that.

And I was like, well, what's on this aisle? Sometimes when you're with your husband and your kid? No, you're just, you're like surgical strike. You know what I mean? You're just like, get the stuff. Get the stuff. And it's Saturday and there's 50,000 people there, and you're like, fuck this noise. Let's get the hell out of here.

Yeah. I call it combat Costco.

Yes, for real. But I was by myself and I had no other appointments. No, I just was like, okay. And I bought the weirdest shit.

What did you get?

Oh my God. I bought a measuring spoons and teaspoons, measuring cups and spoons. I bought Dura flame logs, cuz I just had our chimney cleaned. I bought a washable rug.

You got the ruggable?

No, it's not the ruggable brand. It's the off brand. So it's, it's like a five by seven rug. It almost like 40 bucks or something.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. So I was like, okay, well, I'll try this. And if it's shit, it's 40 bucks, it's fine. So I'm going to put it in my dining room where I put that table together. What else did I got? I got a fire, fucking fire extinguisher. I was like, oh, definitely need that. Definitely need that. So I have a small one that's in where my washer and dryer is. And then I have, this is a huge one. This is for a normal size. Some of them are skinny, and this one's the big one. I don't know where I'm going to put it, but

Remind me where those ladies were when the fire occurred.

Well, so where the fire started, the 92-year-old lady was in her living room and the daughter was out walking the dog, but she didn't have her phone on her. She just will take her dog out and she walks him around and then goes home. Right. Well, he gets off the leash. So she's running around trying to get him and then realizes that there's smoke pouring out of the back of her house.

(13:35)
Yeah, this is, yep. So that's how that happened, from what I can surmise from what she said and what other people have said that that's how that happened. So anyway, so she goes in, in this unit, there's a back door, and of course you walk through the laundry room of the back door to get into the house, and there's other sliding glass doors, but I don't think they all work. And they're really old and they're locked most of the time. So that's the door they use. So when she's going through the laundry room, the wall bursts open and she had some stuff fall on her arm. So she got burns on her arm, which I didn't know until yesterday, and she was able to get her mom out the front door, I'm guessing. I don't know.

Wow. Scary.

So at Costco, I just bought a bunch of crap. I got a sweater, this real cute cardigan sweater in a large, by the way, not extra large. I was like, you know what? I'm getting a large, I'm going to see how this works. And it's a cardigan sweater. You know what I mean? I could probably get the small on if I really wanted to, but

I got a stacking deal on, I don't usually buy Old Navy, but some of the stuff that I've gotten there has been fine. Leggings. Great. Wonderful. And then if your size is changing all the time, you can be a little more like it's Old Navy, so when it doesn't fit anymore, it won't bother me.

It's like disposable clothing, basically.

It was like everything was 50% off. And then I had a 40% that stacked on top, so almost everything was about $10. So I ordered a whole bunch of leggings size large, and they're all really, really tight in the middle. Maybe that's what triggered the whole, I feel fat thing was like I tried on all these leggings and they were great in the legs, but they were not great in the waist.

Oh, were you in a junior section?

No, no,

Because that sounds like a junior thing.

Doesn't it? And then I got these two unicorn pajama hoodies for the girls, and you've never seen happier kids. My goodness.

Really? How cute.

Yeah, they were thrilled.

That's awesome.

Yesterday I went to visit a friend's office. They moved from LA to Austin years ago, and I have never been to their office, which was kind of bad. Should have been out there a long time ago. So I went and met them for breakfast, and then I went and visited the office, got to say hi to a whole bunch of people that I know professionally and had never met other than Zoom. So that was really neat. And the office was just beautiful. And in the middle of this, they invite me to an eighties prom tomorrow night, and I don't have enough fun. I fully admit that this is part a problem in my life that I don't do enough fun stuff. So I'm like, Jim Carrey in Yes, Man. Right. I'm in my mind. I'm like, just say yes. You're not going to regret it. Just say yes. So I said yes. So then they sent me six page PDF with character profile of who I have to be at this eighties prom, because it's also a murder mystery party.

Oh my God. So there's a lot of layers to this. Did you say yes before you knew about the murder mystery part?

No, my biggest question was can I come by myself? Would it be weird if I was alone? Because of course, it's a football night and my husband has to coach football, and so I got a sitter. I made a hair appointment, so someone else has to deal with my eighties hair other than myself. Took that off my plate. But now I have to find something to wear. So what do you do? How do you punt with modern clothes when you can't find an eighties prom dress?

That's rough. Yeah.

Nordstrom has a fair amount of satin right now,

And it has to be a prom dress? It can't just be like

Warmers and a neon top with a black tutu. I guess it could be. I mean, who cares really.

Well, right. So tell me about this character that you're playing now. I need to know the details.

Okay. Well, her name is Fannie Funkadelic, I think. Fanny Funkadelic.

Oh my God. I like that whoever created this needs to be on our show. That's what needs to happen.

Oh, I'll definitely ask them.

Because I'll be like, you need to walk me through this Fanny Funkadelic. That's the beest.

Yeah, I get this text in the middle of the day. Hi, Eva, here is your character for prom. Oh no. I'm like, oh no, five page PDF.

Now you can't back out at the last minute. You can't be like, oh God, so sick. Oh, my kids are sick. Everyone's throwing up. You know what I mean? You can't, can't do that.

Here I present to you Totally Rad Eighties Prom Gone Bad.

Oh my God.

These guys do this party every year. This isn't the first time.

Is it always an eighties theme or do they change it?

No, this looks like a thing you can buy. You can buy this whole murder mystery package, and then you give everybody,

Okay, and then everybody, wow, that's serious

Rules. There's rules and I have to dress. This is what I have to wear.

Oh, wow.

My best eighties formal outfit, and I need a corsage. How am I going to get? Josie. My neighbor is a florist.

Yeah, I'd be calling her. And there's other characters like Alan Algebra, Dolly Dancer, Sally Spirit. This is the best thing I have ever seen. I, my God.

Hey, hang on. Hey Josie, I have a flower emergency and I need your help.

And Sarah kicked Sally off of the prom planning committee because she deemed Sally to be too busy. In your opinion, Sarah may have gone too far in doing this. Oh, Sarah, I wonder if there's like, oh my God. This is why we should live closer, because I would just make you a whole outfit. I would go to a thrift store, find the most eighties outfit I could get, and then add stuff to it, like lace layers and tulleand poof. And

Yeah, I can make it work. I mean, black with Neon is probably going to end up being my most pragmatic option.

Right.

She's asking a wrist, corsage or pin on.

Oh my God. Didn't even question what the emergency was. Didn't even question it.

No.

It was like, you betcha, got you, right on it. That's a true friend

Here let's give Josie a little love. Let me show you. She's she's tremendous. She's just so good. And then I'll get all of the pictures from this thing and show you how it turned out next week.

Oh yeah, for sure. I gotta know.

The thing that kind of ties it back to what we usually talk about, which is losing weight is, there is no way, there is no way that I would've said yes to this a year ago or two years ago. Not a chance.

Really? That's such progress, Eva. That's awesome. That's really great.

I'm not even worried about it. I'm just have to find something.

So here's what you do. You get, and you can probably get piece this together. Well, when is the party?

Tomorrow night.

Oh, so you have the rest of the day, and then tomorrow morning. You have anything for it at all?

I got pink, lightning bolt earrings, pink mesh gloves, and a pink lace like Madonna headband just now at Party City. Just to give a little shout out to Josie and her beautiful.

Oh, that's so cute.

Flowers. She's so talented and she just has the most amazing aesthetics.

Oh yeah.

I don't think this is her floral, actually, I think that's this one. Joslyn and June is her flowers. And she once taught a floral arranging class at church, and it was one of the best things I've ever done because now I know what to do. And it's such a practical skill that I would tell everyone just go once and learn how to do it.

It's beautiful. I love it.

You know those flowers that they dye crazy colors? I'll probably go find some and just drop 'em off at her house and then just she'll turn it into something for me.

Oh yeah, there you go. They didn't have anything else at party city that would go for that?

Maybe. But it was a mad house in there. It was so hard because it's the closest to, my party city is the closest one to the University of Texas. So can you imagine the crowd in there? And Ellie and I were standing at the register and I was like, because some guy smelled, he rolled around in a marijuana plant and didn't take a shower for a week, you know that smell?

Yeah, I'm aware.

I wasn't really in the mood to stay there investigating for very long.

I don't blame you, but tomorrow might be a good day to go since

Tomorrow will be fine. Yeah.

Yeah. So you'll find something.

Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like there's something else I was going to tell you. Oh, did I tell you that I applied for that job and I didn't get it?

No, you talked about a job, but you didn't say you didn't get it.

No, we didn't. Okay. Yeah, I didn't get it. Don't know why. I was like, I hit it off with a recruiter and they wanted me to

That onboarding job, right?

Yeah. And they wanted me to film a video, like a screen grab video. So you see those instructional videos on here's how to use our software, and you click here and you do this and you click here and you do this and dah, dah, dah. So never have seen this particular software before. And the instructions were create a training video on how to use it. I mean, I would have absolutely bombed that if I hadn't had my friend that was working there. And so she's like, well, I thought they wanted me to do something, and the way it was written was not really clear. And I was like, that's kind of a red flag. But then I'm like, well, maybe that's the challenge.

That's the test.

That's the test is the test is we're giving you really shitty instructions. Can you still do the thing we want you to do?

(24:17)
Which is a really terrible way to run a company and deal with employees. Just tell me what you want me to do and then I'll do it. And then you can, you know what I mean? Are you, I'm not a mind reader. Like hello. So she got me all sorted out. I did the thing, I sent it to her. I was like, is this okay? She's like, yes, that's good. Submit it. I'm like, okay. So I submit it, and then this was on a Friday, and then the next week, which was last week, I didn't hear back from anybody. I had to send three emails and the guy's like finally messaged me back and he's like, yeah, it's been a bit crazy over here, but we've decided to move forward with other candidates. I'm like, you have a team of maybe four people. And I was referred to you by somebody who already works there, is one of your rock stars, and you and I had a great conversation and I did this thing that came out pretty good for never having done it once ever, but you want to talk to other people. Okay. So after that, I messaged her and I was like, yeah, they are going to pick somebody else. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, yeah, no, they are. She's like the hell. And then she tells me that now this is a 1099. She's a 1099 position. It was never clear on with the onboarding, if that would've been a W2 or 1099. But she already works 14 hours a day, like 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM and then they're like, yeah. So there's a team of four and everyone's going to rotate working weekends on top of your 70 hours. She already working Monday through Friday.

Whoa.

And it's a 1099 position. So they don't have the same rules and regulations as employer employee situation.

The number one always is you can work whenever you want. We can't tell you what hours to work. That's pretty basic in that.

So I messaged a friend, I'm like, thank God I didn't get that job. I would've worked at two weeks and been like, fuck off. No way.

Well, I'm glad that you didn't end up in that situation.

Yeah, me too. I would've just lost my mind.

I think you should tell me what your trick or treating plan is, and then we should probably go, I have to do really important things today.

Do you?

Draw hearts on pink tights and, okay, what else do I have? I mean, if I don't pick up Kari early, she's going to be so upset with me. Oh, actually, so you know how you were having bus problems? Well, we don't have any of those problems, cuz we don't have a bus, but the gymnastics gym forgot to pick Kari up yesterday. Stuff happens. But then they call me and they go, Kari's not on the van. Do you know where she is? And I'm like,

So the gymnastics people call you to ask you where your kid is and they were supposed to pick her up?

Yeah.

I'd be like, you want to rephrase that? Oh my God.

Our school has really good security and they scan every kid in and out. So I said, let me look at her air tag. And I could see her air tag still at school. She's like, I'm already driving back to get her. I'm sure she's there. I'm like, you're sure? Because I'm not, what if she was outside and she didn't get on the van? She's a squirrel. I could see her being like, oh, look. And running off into the woods when she's supposed to be getting on the van. And anyway,

Like bye.

This poor girl from the gym, she just apologized like 19,000 times. And I was like, it's fine. She's fine. Everything's fine. I know you're never going to do it again.

Right. I know, right. Learned your lesson there, kiddo, did you? Right on.

And every kid should have an air tag in their backpack. That's my public service announcement for today. The more you know. It gives me so much peace of mind. Also, if they leave their backpack somewhere, you can find it. That happens too pretty often.

Oh, I got Kordelia, an angel watch. So

Kari would lose that. She doesn't know the air tags in her backpack just lives there.

Well, at any rate, I got to get it working though, because something's going on with the sim card anyways. We already did our trick or treating. We did trunk or treat on Saturday, so she had to dress up at school today. And the school theme was your favorite book character or just dress up like a character from a book. And her teacher's really into Wicked. And so she wanted to dress up as Elphaba and I'm like, alright. So we found this dress at Walmart or something.

She's going to be Elphaba?

I guess. Well, no, she's at school in the costume now. It's just, you know how they have those nighty dresses, things for kids at Walmart? That's what she's wearing and black tights. And then I just put her hair up in some bows and that was all I could do.

I have a Red and a Bridget from both, from Descendants four, and one of their other friends is Chloe. So I have three of the descendants.

Nice.

And then our fourth friend who lives next door is going to be a dinosaur. So we will have descendants and dinosaurs. Three descendants and a dinosaur.

Nice.

I think the dinosaur will slow her down, which is a good thing, cuz she's the oldest. That will be her handicap so that she doesn't leave the little ones behind. Yeah.

So yeah, we normally do the trunk or treat at the church down the street. And then usually at Halloween night is when we watch Hocus Pocus or something.

Oh yeah. Our neighborhood goes off. So we have a loop that we do and it's people come from all over the place to do our neighborhood.

Oh really? See, I don't live in a neighborhood like that. Oh, it's not, but alright, well I'll let you get on to getting your costume up and running and you got to send me pictures.

I will. I will.

Anyways.

Of the prom?

Yeah, yeah. Oh for sure.

Yeah. I'm going to just be into it and not be who I usually am.

Yeah. Have fun. Cut loose shit. Do it girl. You're going to love it. Alright, love you the most.

Love you too. Follow us on Instagram @LessofYoupodcast. Are you confronting the same challenges and have a story to tell? I'd love to hear your story on our Skinny Shot Stories podcast. Contact me for more details at skinnyshotsstories.com. If you're a doctor and would like to learn more about sponsoring this or any of our cosmetic surgery and weight loss podcasts, go to lessofyou.com. Less of You is a production of The Axis, theaxis.io.